We made the very difficult decision to have Jazz, our dog of 14 years, put down on Saturday. She had been battling some health issues and had really been going downhill during the last two months. After some indications this past week, we knew it was time. I have never had to do this before and was holding it together until I watched her drift away.
It hurt so bad.
I came home and started eating and eating. I had an appearance for the station at RVR and all the time that I am smiling and so many people are telling me that I look great and what a wonderful job I'm doing - All I could think about was eating....I wanted funnel cake, ice cream, pudding (BTW, who sells pudding at an extremely hot, outdoor event?), fries, soda, lemonade and even cotton candy. And I don't like cotton candy.
Now, I can tell you that I was able to keep myself to a pit ham sandwich, one buffalo burger and some sweet potato fries. However, on the way home we stopped to get some water and I shoved Nutter-butters, a fig newton and some chocolate milk down before we got home.
I'm not sure if I am sad or angry or both. I'm angry that anyone has to make decisions like this. Sad that my "furry" kid won't be licking my face. It is the way things are. It is Life.
Now I just have to figure out how to deal with this wave of emotion without eating myself into oblivion. Prayers are welcome.
Mike
Jazz Alley 1994-2008
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6 comments:
So, so, so sorry, Mike.
Remember, there is a mountaintop just ahead!!!!
Mike,
I remember when we lost our golden retriever McGee. I never expected it to hurt so much! Those dogs really do become like a member of the family!
I also understand "eating the pain away". However, the bad thing is that it never worked, except to make me more miserable. At least you recognize that you are out of control, and the only thing to do now is turn it over to the One who is always in control. He will help you to conquer this.
I am praying for you Mike. I have been struggling myself with not exercising well, and then making some poor food choices this weekend on top of it. We can do this!! Hang in there. ~Sue
Mike, I definitely know your pain man. My senior year of high school the family dog started getting fatty tumors all over her body and we had to carry her outside just for her to use the bathroom. My parents called me and told me the news on my way home from school. I pulled in the garage and just sobbed. It's hard to see a member of the family pass away.
My prayers are with you for the loss of your friend (and family member) Jazz. We experienced that loss with our friend (and family member) Princess last year when acute kidney failure forced us to put her to sleep. But the most comforting thought was as she faded, her final expression was a big smile, which reminds me that she too is now in a better place and one day, we will again meet.
As a side note - keep up the good work and don't let this obstruct your goal.
Mike,
Ralph & I have had to put our first 2 "babies" down. It was the hardest thing that we ever did. I felt bad for the people at the vet clinic as we all sat there & cried while they put my baby down. They were old too and their health went down. God sent us 2 blessings in the form of Buddy & Snickers right after our losses. I say Buddy found us because he was the healing balm my husband needed & Buddy needed too after being abandoned. We understand how hard it is & we'll pray for you.
Don't let this slow down your progress, but I can understand how it can.
Hi All!
Thanks for all your wonderful comments. It has really helped.
Blessings,
Mike
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